Read More: Weekends at Bellevue

I learned about Weekends at Bellevue by Julie Holland on NPR. I was excited to finally have the chance to read it because I love psychology and thought it would be fun to hear about all the wacky cases that passed through their doors. However, from the get go I hated the author. Maybe hate is not a fair word. Detest?

She starts off by saying, "I am smart -- more than that, a smart ass". First of all when you're writing a book, the story is supposed to tell who you are. Second, who describes themselves that way?? Most likely a person who is neither smart nor a smart ass. And the book goes on to show that this is true. It is, indeed, the truly smart who use phrases like 'verbal diarrhea'. And only the smartest of people who take it a step further and use it in print.

What I really found awful was that she thought it was appropriate to use sex as a way of making it in a man's world. She lists all the co-workers that she's had sex with, bragging that one was married, which is incredibly skeazy and was not pertinent to the story at all. She encourages flirtations and sexual banter, but runs to the head of the department to tattle on her boss for inappropriate sexual comments because he is not interested in her. Gross, gross, gross. I have nothing against a person who is comfortable with their sexuality, but to use it in this way just perpetuates the idea that women can't be equals in a medical setting and makes it that much harder for the girls that follow.

Through the whole book she keeps going on and on about how her dad was the cause for all of her mental anguish as an adult. She compares the trauma in her upbringing to the problems of the homeless schizophrenic. Dear god, what did her father do to her you may ask? Well, one of her worst memories was when she was small and driving in the car with her parents, smacking her lips together really loud because she was thirsty. And her dad turned around and beat the shit out of her? Nope, he told her to quit making that noise. What cruelty! I had a very similar episode in my life. I was making  one of the most beautiful noises in the backseat of the car, which my dad was not able to appreciate because of some brain deficit and he yelled at me to stop. I think about it to this day. And laugh. And plot when I will regale him with the lovely noise again.

I could go on and on about the shortcomings of this lady. How she treats her patients with disrespect. How she's a whiner.  But, perhaps it isn't right to criticize the author's character? So instead, I'll criticize her writing.

If someone were to hand you a book titled Metaphors and Similes For Everyday Use and dared you to work every single one into your book, this is what you would get. Let me give you just one example:

"He and I are going to go spelunking inside his dark cave to see if we can't figure out what is making him tick like a time bomb. I'm excited, as if staring across the Grand Canyon, about to do an Evel Knievel on my motorcycle."  

Now imagine a whole book full of these! 

To make matters worse, I cannot tell you how many times she used the world 'macho' to describe herself. Upwards of 200 I'm sure. The word popped up on just about every page, which was always a surprise to me because I couldn't see it. Rather I saw a woman that embodied just about every horrible girl stereotype that I could imagine.

Then she feels the need to define and explain everything. She says she calls the fifth pocket in jeans the 'drug pocket' and then goes on for a few more sentences explaining why. No need. Drug pocket says it all. She also defines what a rave is. I'm pretty sure even my grandma wouldn't have needed a definition for this. You really get the sense that she thinks you're an idiot. But I guess that's okay because the feeling is mutual.

But did I learn anything??

Well I did. I learned that the medical ER is a place only for people who are suicidal or a threat to others. Anyone else who needs help gets turned away. Where do they go?? It's so sad to think about people seeking mental help, but who aren't able to get it.

I also learned never to go to Dr. Julie Holland.

- Megan Leigh